grandad kit

A message from "Grandad Kit"
Thanks to the support I've had from many of you, I have decided to continue with my blog but perhaps in a more positive form. "Nana Ann" and I have accepted that it now looks very unlikely that we will be able to see our grandson "Tom" in any positive way for the forseeable future. But there are so many grandparents in a similar position to us - unable to see ad enjoy our grandchildren growing up due to the actions of our own children - that we need to continue to support one another by sharing our experiences.
I hope to turn this blog into a book, but that will take time. Meanwhile, look out for "The further adventures of Grandad Kit" in December. Until then, you are very welcome to look back over the past year and see the various helpful comments other readers have made on my blog.
Thank you and my best wishes to all of you.
Grandad Kit
my "letters to an unseen grandson" continue on grandadkit net but if you can't find it email me from this site.

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

TO ALL MY REGULAR READERS AND TO ANY FIRST-TIME VISITORS: THIS IS MY LAST ENTRY ON THIS BLOG WHICH WILL TERMINATE SHORTLY. DO POST ANY LAST COMMENTS YOU MAY HAVE. LOOK OUT FOR A BOOK BY 'GRANDAD KIT' IN 2008.

Dear “Tom"

THE LAST POST

You are now four years old. I am your other grandfather, the one you have just met, but only the once. At the moment, it looks highly unlikely that we will ever see you again, but whatever happens please believe that I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet again one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read allthe letters I have written to you over the past year.

As you may have guessed, this is the last "letter" I will write to you for the time being. It may be some time before I write to you again, but in real life this time. I have been "writing" to you now for a whole year, without you realising it, but I am sure that one day you will get to read this and you will realise just how much we love you and how much we wanted to be part of you growing up.

To be honest, it is a little selfish on our part, me and Nana Ann. We would get so much out of seeing you grow up and learn about the world, day by day, that we feel we have been deprived of something so lovely, so precious, and something that can never come back again, that your absence has been a big hole in our lives. But we also feel that you would learn so much from us and that our just being around would help you feel more happy and secure and learn about families in a positive way rather than in a negative way as things have been all your short life so far.

Although the day was a failure, it was such a blessing to be able to see you just one day, even for such a short time and even with so little physical contact. We could see that you are a happy, healthy boy, with a cheerful outloook on life and a curiousity about the world. This all bodes well for your future life. We know your Mam and Dad love you absolutely in every way and that they are giving everything they can to you as your parents. We know that they will love you and look after you so that you can eventually go out into the world and lead your own life with confidence and happiness.

It's all the more sad that your Mam and Dad cannot spare us even a tiny shred of what they give to you. That was the shocking part of our one meeting just a few short weeks ago, an experience Grandad and Nana Ann will never ever forget. The way we feel, we don't want a repeat of that experience, but we do very much want to see you again, only this is just not possible right now.

Now you are growing up and are getting more and more aware of what grown-ups do, we don't want you to witness anything that might upset you. So, both for our own sakes and for yours, we feel we cannot even try to make arrangements to see you again - unless and until your Mam and Dad give us even a tiny bit of recognition and understanding. We do try and see things from their viewpoint, but from our perspective it's difficult for us to understand why your Mam and Dad have taken the attitude they have and why they are so adamant about it.

If we have "done wrong" by them, they haven't told us what it is. All we know are the results, the effects of whatever it is that your Mam and Dad think - only they won't tell us and they won't - as far as we can see - change their attitude to us. Rather than have you witness disagreements between grown-ups and perhaps unpleasant things said, we would rather you grew up in a happy home - as you have now - without these negative things hitting your young life. Later, much later perhaps, when you have grown up enough to think for yourself (withour being disloyal to you Mam and Dad, something we would never contemeplate you doing) you will be able to have a relationship with us and get something positive from it. I hope that when that time comes, this "blog" will help you understand us and our feelings.

All the very best to you "Tom." We will always think of you and wish you all the very best. We are trying to keep fit and healthy, so we both hope to be around for many years yet - so there's always time!

All our love

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann