grandad kit

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

Too many sweets

You are now four years old. I am your other grandfather, the one you have just met, but only the once. At the moment, it looks highly unlikely that we will ever see you again, but whatever happens please believe that I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet again one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

I'm sorry I'm not writing to you every day right now, but it is getting towards "wet towel" time and I really have to keep my nose to the grindstone. Today I had to take a break to go to the dentist (for the third of my three sessions) and once again it didn't hurt too much. But it's all down to eating too many sweets, toffees, chocolates, cakes and ice cream when I was a lad. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't resist and I didn't know any better. So I've been made to suffer ever since.

Grandad will be off on his travels again next week, and that's given me an idea. I think I'll send you and your Mam one or two cards from interesting places. Remember it was a "Thomas the Tank Engine" card that did the trick last time, when your Mam phoned me - just the once mind, but it was the first time at least since you were born! And of course that led to us getting to see you for the first (and so far only) time - that was a blessing. So I'll be on the lookout for some really nice, interesting or funny postcards to send you. You never know!

This Sunday Grandad's going in a triathlon, that's like three races in one - swimming, cycling and running. It would eb really great to have you there. "Come on Grandad!" would make me feel like an Olympic champion, even if I trail in nearly last - but I'll beat a few blokes younger than me, you can bet on it.

Your Uncle Norman rang me today. I'm due to pay him a visit, but it'll have to wait until next week.

Yesterday I went to the seaside (on business of course) but I was able to travel on this lift that goes on rails down a very steep cliff. It's a terrific ride, somethign you would realy enjoy. I always think about that, every time I get to go on something nice and interesting.

Nana Ann is hard at work too, but today she rang me at lunchtime. She's seen some pictures for a book, and I said get them - but don't pay too much.

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

All quiet on the Western Front

You are now four years old. I am your other grandfather, the one you have just met, but only the once. At the moment, it looks highly unlikely that we will ever see you again, but whatever happens please believe that I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet again one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

I put Nana Ann on the train to go back to London last night. We had a good talk about things, and we have decided to do nothing more for the present. The way we look at it is this: if your Mam is cross with us (which she seems to be, but why we don't really know) then there is no point in us annoying her further, as it were, by getting back to he so soon after meeting you for the first time just a few short days ago. If she is cros with us, then the best thing to do is to wait until she's no longer cross with us. If we ask her why she feels the way she does, she will just try to prove why she is cross with us. Whether that is something real or just something that she imagines, isn't really the point, in fact it doesn't really matter either way.

So chin up, old lad, at least now you have some idea that soemwhere there are two old people who are relatives of yours, like your other Grandadas and Nanas, who care about you for no other reason than we share the same bloodlines. Blood is thicker than water, they say, and that is certainly the case for us. We do wish and hope that that will be the saem fro you Mam and Dad as well.

So, it's All Quiet on the Westren Front. On the Home Front, Nana Ann wasn't able to dfix the central heating - Barry the Buolder came round today and fixed it in five minutes flat (though what his bill will be I shudder to think) but Nana Ann did get up on the kitchen roof to fix some loose slates. She's left me six more bags of garden runnish to take to the recycling centre (some is from our bag yard I must admit where the treeds and bushes have grown wild for years - the birds who have nested there in recent years will be very annoyed).

My time is up so as always

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

Our secret garden

You are now four years old. I am you other grandfather, the one you have just met, but only the once. At the moment, it looks highly unlikely that we will ever see you again, but whatever happens please believe that I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet again one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

Nana Ann has got to work on our front garden today, "the jungle" in other words. Remember how I said we could have a great game of hide and seek in there? Well, it's not quite such a jungle now. Nana Ann has got to work with all kinds of cutting implements. Let me tell you, we have had to go to the recycling centre three times today with the car packed to the gunnels (I think that should be gunwales but never mind) with branches and bushes and waht have you. All our small trees and bushes are looking a little sorry for themselves, they've all had the arborial equivalent of crew cuts or at least a pudding-basin cut. But one thing really pleased me.

As Nana Ann was working, an old couple came past. They were going to have their Sunday dinners at the hospital which (for all its shortcomings) provides good, healthy meals at low prices. They go every Sunday, and every Sunday they pass our house and have a look at our front garden. Anyway, they got talking to Nana Ann and what they said was this: every time they go past our house, at least once a week, they always have a look at our graden. We have quite a number of flowers, such as our beautiful roses, and the bushes and trees often have flowers on as well. But most of all they enjoy looking at and taling about what they call "our secret garden." They rejoice in the fact that lots of little creatures live in our garden, hidden away from harm's way. The man even asked Nana Ann if she's ever seen a grass snake in our garden. (Grass snakes are harmless by the way).

But our garden will grow again, and I'm sure it will be a secret garden once more. As to whether you'll ever get the chance to play in it, I wouldn't put money on it. Nana Ann has been so busy with the garden and other things to fix in the house, the central heating which broke down weeks ago, one of our smaoke alarms was off, a new lanmpshade was needed - all things Grandad has been too busy to fix! Plus the fact that I really am in "wet towel" time with my books. "Wet towel time" means you more or less have to lock yourself away in a room so you can get on with your shed-load of work with absolutely no distractions, with a wet towel round your head. I have't actually done the wet towel bit yet, but I've been close.

So I'm sorry to say we haven't yet discussed the position vis a vis you and your Mam and Dad and us in any depth yet. Really we need both to be relaxed and withgout outside pressures. Otherwise we could very well get into an argument between the two of us, and that will never do. One thing I have learned through livig this long is that arguments happen much more readily when you're tired and distrcated. That's grown-up talk and not for you for many years yet. But we do still think about you, a lot, and every single day.

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

Nana Ann is very, very cross

You are now four years old. I am you other grandfather, the one you have just met, but only the once. At the moment, it looks highly unlikely that we will ever see you again, but whatever happens please believe that I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet again one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

Nana Ann caught the train from London and I went to the station to collect her. Unfortunately, the train broke down - only a few minutes before it was due to arrive! The reason was that the mechanism on top of the train that slides along the electric overhead wires and gets the electricity into the train to drive it, came loose. With no elecrtic power, the train just stopped and couldn't move. They had to get a diesel locomotive to come from Newcastle, hook on to the front of the train, and drag it into the station before averybody could get off. There were eight other trains coming up from London behind this one and they were all late too, although some of them meanged to get round the broken-down train and go on their way to Newcastle or Edinburgh in Scotland.

The train Nana Annwas on was nearly two hours late, and needless to say Nana Ann was very, very cross. very, very, very cross. Now she couldn't blame Grandad for the train being late, but I did get the rough edge of her tongue when I didn't see her staright away in the crowds of people getting on and off the train. Anyway, Nana Ann macrhed off to get a form to fill in and claim compensation from GNER, the train company. But they're on their way out anyway. Another company is going to take over the trains from them anyway.

Anyway, Nana Ann was far too tired and cross for us to talk about you, or rather the situation with your Mam and Dad, so that will have to wait. In any case, you can't rush these things. We waited four years to see you for the first time, so if we have to wait awhile for the second time, no matter.

Love from

Grandad and (a very cross but not with you) Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

Tubes and wires

I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

What a carry on. Today Grandad had to go to hospital for yet another test. They still can't find out what's wrong with me (but it's not really serious - I'm not going to go just yet). What a palaver. I got changed into my bike gear and climbed onto this exercise bike. That was easy enough, but then they attached all these wires to me - lots of wires, I'm not exagerating - and these go into various computers to record my heart, blood pressure etc, while I'm exercising. Then I had a big tube in my mouth to breath into and a big clip on my nose, worse than a clothes peg, to stop me breathing through my nose. Then it was pedal, pedal, pedal until I couldn't pedal anymore. Of course Grandad thinks he can pedal for ever, but no such luck. This diabolical machine make the bike get a little bit harder to ride, minute by minute, so eventually it's like trying to bike up a very steep hill. I kept it up as long as I could, but eventually I had to give in. God knows what they're going to make of it all.

Then it's back to work and get ready for Nana Ann coming tomorrow. I've been too busy to do anything to the house as I normally do, but I think she knows what to expect. She's promised to let me gte on with my work and not bother me too much.

The beatiful pale pink and white roses are still in bloom, so she'll enjoy seeing those. They might distract her from the state of the garden which is still like a jungle despite my occasional forays with various cutting and chopping instruments. Lots of rain and lots of sunshine make your garden grow. Now I've seen your house, I must say our small garden looks bigger then your tiny one! But in London, houses cost so much, not many people can afford a house with a big garden or even a medium-size one like Nana Ann has.

This weekend, Nana Ann and I will have a long talk about our visit to you last weekend, and what we should do nect. I was going to say, we'll let the situation cool for a while, but it couldn't be any colder that it is now between me and your Mam - I would say deep permafrost and no sign whatsoever of a thaw. But we'll not rush into anything. So I'll keep these letters going for a while till we decide what to do.

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

Nana Ann is coming up

I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

A bit of good news today. Nana Ann says she's coming up for the weekend. She knows Grandad is very, very busy and will be working all weekend, but I know she'll find lots of things ot do around the house - all the things that Grandad is supposed to do but doesn't (because I'm too busy of course!). But it will be nice to have her around, and some compensation that I won't be able to be with her on her birthday next month (I always try, but this year it's impossible if I am to meet all my commitments).

Today I went to se two men about two different books I am writing. Both men are very nice characters and it's a pleasure to talk to them. In my job, this is not always the case. Today a man who writes childrens books gave me a ring. He has written a really good children's book about a young dragon, and he wants me to help him get it published. I had to tell him I can't do anything until next year at the earliest! But that's always the way. This time last year, when I had hardly any work on, I would have been glad to do it, but that's the way of the world. It's either a feast or a famine.

I went shopping today, but I'll go again on Friday and get some nice things, the kind Nana Ann likes, for when she comes up from London.

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

We are shell-shocked!

I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

To be honest, Nana Ann and I have not discussed our meeting with you and your Mam and Dad yesterday. We are shell-shocked. It was completely unexpected. You were everything we had hoped for, but your Mam and Dad were very, very quiet. They had very little to say to us. They were polite and treated us with courtesy, but I am very sorry to say it was a cold courtesy, Very, very cold. Freezing in fact. They didn't say anything untoward to us, in fact they said very little atall, other to answer our questions. There was no conversation in the normal sense of the word.

Beforehand, Nana Ann and I had decided to limit the questions we would ask. There are so many questions we wanted to ask, we could ahve asked hundreds! So we limited ourseleves mainly to how you were and how you were getting on at nursery school, and how you'd enjoyed yourself at the seaside and so on. But that was all.

So we came away with a sense of anti-climax. We waited all these years to see you, an now what? The way we feel, Nana Ann and I don't want to go through a repeat of what happened yesterday, not for our sake, but for yours. As you grow older, you will become more aware of things. And we definitely don't want you to be troubled or concerned about quarrels between adults - it's not your fault and it should not be allowed to affect you.

I couldn't stop thinking about you today (but I think about you every single day anyway). I can't work out whether it's best to have another joyless encounter and whether it might be better to wait a few more years - but that is unthinkable. If there was a glimmer of hope of making it up with your Mam and Dad, that would be something top show us the way forward and something to work towards. But right now I don't see even the tiniest glimmer of hope. I know my daughter - your Mam. She's very much like her mother, your other Nana, an I know her very, very well of course. The chance of either of them ever changing their minds, once they've made up their minds, is almost nil. So, while we're happy, vrey happy, to have met up with you at last, and hope to do so again, we are quite depressed at present.

But life must go on, and Grandad has lots and lots and lots of work to do in a very short time. So he'd better get on a do it and not mope around waiting and hoping for the impossible to happen!

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

For the first time, we finally get to see you

I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

Grandad is good with words, but not this time. Make no mistake, Nana Ann and I were so glad to finally get to see you for the very first time - and it's more than four years since you were born. It's hard to describe what it's like, seeing you for the first time. I know what it's like seeing my three children for the first time, and seeing your cousin Elaine for the first time, but that was always when they were tiny babies and had just been born. It was expected that I would be there and I was there as a father and as a grandfather, just a natural thing.

If things had been right between me and your Mam, we would have been able to see you very soon after you were born, when you were just a tiny little baby, and to see you from time to time, to have the joy of seeing you grow up and develop bit by bit. That has all gone, but seeing you once is better, so much better, than not seeing you atall. Nana Ann and I don't have any children, so the only grandchildren Nana Ann can see are mine - and there's only two of you! But even if there were lots of grandchildren, you would all be precious and we would want to see all of you from time to time.

It was lovely to see you. You are everything we had hoped for, a happy, lively boy with a sense of fun and curiosity about the world. But Nana Ann and I came away from your house sad as well as happy.

Now this is nothing you can understand, nor will you be able to understand it for many years yet. I hope that if you ever get to read these letters to an unknown grandson, you will understand. And, most of all, it's absolutely not your fault in any way. You are totally innocent of what has gone on and of what is happening now. Only when you get to be of an age and able to take decisions for yourself, then you'll have to take responsibility for what you say and do, but not until then.

The truth is, Nana Ann and I are thinking very seriously about what to do next. Right now, we can't see any way forward and - very, very sad, we can't see a way that we can get to be friends again with your Mam and Dad. It's not that we're trying to blame them, we are just looking at the situation and trying to judge what is the best for everyone, particularly for you. We don't want to do anything atall that might cause you pain or hurt, and most of all we don't want you to be dragged into a family quarrel, particularly a quarrel that seems to us to be over and done with and best forgotten.

So right now Nana Ann and Grandad don't know when or even if we will see you again. We are just going to let things lie still for a while. The way I feel now, I would like to draw a line under all this and get on with the rest of my life, as long or short as it may be. You can't allow a negative thing to drag you down and stop you from enjoying life and stop you from being useful to ourselves and to others.

So - it breaks my heart to say this - we may not see you again for a time, perhaps a long time, perhaps a long, long time. There's no use putting blame on anyone - no-one is perfect, and like anyone else we have made mistakes - but we have to move on. We don't want you to be subject to arguments and ill-feeling. Not that that happened today, but it seems to us that (apart from the great blessing of seeing you and holding your hand) there was nothing else to say and do towards mending the break, mainly between me and your Mam, my daughter. If these letters are produced as a book, by Grandad Kit of course because we would always want to protect your identity, you might see it by chance and you might realise it's you.

Still love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”
A busy day - and we set the time to meet you!

I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

Phew! What a day! we hardly had time to stop for a minute, because we had a lot to do and just one day to do it. We've seen some people and visited several places, Nana Ann lookig up the information and Grandad writing it down. In between, I've sent an e-mail to your Mam. We've decided to come and see you at three o'clock in the afternoon. We thought that was best, nit too early, not too late, and not during a mealtime. The only thing that can stop us now is an Act of God (fire, earthqauke, pestilence), a declaration of war or a general election being called. But hipefully none of these things will happen, at least not by tomorow.

You might find that Nana Ann and Grandad are a bit quiet at first. We've got to be careful, not to upset your Mam. Then there's your Dad's feelings to consider. We've only met him twice, so we don't know him very well atall. But he seems a nice steady sort of block, not given to sudden bursts of....anything really. But that's just a first (or second) impression.

If everything goes well, as we hope it will, then that will more or less mean the end of this blog. After all, we'll be able to talk to you direct, rather than through these letters which you can't read now anyway. But Grandad has found it very helpful, very soothing, to write these letters to you. Doing this has certainly made me feel better. Whatever happens, you might get to read them some day, especially if Grandad puts them in a book!!! All you need to do is llok for a book written by Grandad Kit. no-one will ever know it's you, but you will. Just imagine everye asking "who is Grandad Kit, who is Nana Ann, and who is Tom?" That would be a hoot, wouldn't it. But let's get tomorrow over with first.

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”

Dear “Tom”

Your Mam replies - and the job's a good 'un!

I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.

Yor Mam finally came back to us today - another email - and she says ok to us coing to see you at home on Sunday. All we have to do is fix the time. So this is it. The visit is definitely on - bar any last-minute hiccups.

Down at Nana Ann's there's all sorts of thigns going on. For a start, the fair has taken over a large part of the Common. The fair comes every year about thsi time, and it's quite a big affair. Not as big as the biggest fair in teh countyr, that's the Hoppins on thew Newcastel Town Moor. Don't worry, we'll take you to both of them one of these days. The fair lights up the sky at night, there's the sound of music and merrygrounds and sales talk, and there's the smells of chip and hot dogs - irrisistible, almost.

But waht I wanted to tell you is that the last couple of time I've ben down, I've seen the young goose with the broken wing, or rather the deformed wing - he was born like that. The upshot is, he can't fly, although he's now fully grown. So, every night, when all the other geese fly away (God knows where the fly to) he has to saty behind. So he simply sits in the middle of the pond, or hides in the long grass on the island. Then in the mornig when all the geese return, he joins up with his family - his mother, father and four brothers and sisters - they always sit togther and feed together, plus his elder brother who was born last year (one of five, the only one to survive) who sits a little way away from the rest of the family.

Tomorrow Nana Ann and Grandad are off to Brighton on the coach.

Love from

Grandad Kit and Nana Ann