Saturday, August 18, 2007
A busy day - and we set the time to meet you!
Thank you for reading my blog. If you have difficulty seeing your grandchildren, or have any views about my situation, I would welcome your messages by e-mail through this blog site. If you wish, just use a first name or a nickname and your identity will be protected, like mine – “Grandad Kit.”
Dear “Tom”
A busy day - and we set the time to meet you!
I am you other grandfather, the one you have never met. You are four years old, and although I have never met you, I love you dearly and always will. You are my flesh and blood, and always will be. We will meet one day, I am sure. I am writing this daily "blog" to you to make up for the fact that I can't speak to you right now. I hope that one day you will be able to read this.
Phew! What a day! we hardly had time to stop for a minute, because we had a lot to do and just one day to do it. We've seen some people and visited several places, Nana Ann lookig up the information and Grandad writing it down. In between, I've sent an e-mail to your Mam. We've decided to come and see you at three o'clock in the afternoon. We thought that was best, nit too early, not too late, and not during a mealtime. The only thing that can stop us now is an Act of God (fire, earthqauke, pestilence), a declaration of war or a general election being called. But hipefully none of these things will happen, at least not by tomorow.
You might find that Nana Ann and Grandad are a bit quiet at first. We've got to be careful, not to upset your Mam. Then there's your Dad's feelings to consider. We've only met him twice, so we don't know him very well atall. But he seems a nice steady sort of block, not given to sudden bursts of....anything really. But that's just a first (or second) impression.
If everything goes well, as we hope it will, then that will more or less mean the end of this blog. After all, we'll be able to talk to you direct, rather than through these letters which you can't read now anyway. But Grandad has found it very helpful, very soothing, to write these letters to you. Doing this has certainly made me feel better. Whatever happens, you might get to read them some day, especially if Grandad puts them in a book!!! All you need to do is llok for a book written by Grandad Kit. no-one will ever know it's you, but you will. Just imagine everye asking "who is Grandad Kit, who is Nana Ann, and who is Tom?" That would be a hoot, wouldn't it. But let's get tomorrow over with first.
Love from
Grandad Kit and Nana Ann
22:40 Permalink | Comments (5) | Email this
Comments
I really hope all went well, and I hope you let us know if all went well. Have been following your story for a while now and would love to know if there is a happy ending.
If this is the end I will be so happy for you grandadkit and nana ann. Tom too and everyone concerned.
God bless you all.
anne
Grandad Kit writes
When you see my entry for 19th August, you will realise that all did not go well. Yes, we did get to see "Tom" for the first time,a nd that was great, but there was nothing else for us to be happy about. I will keep the blog going for a little while longer, but if there is no progress soon I think it will be time to "shut up shop" - with thanks of course to you and all the other lovely people who have taken the trouble to read my blog, and most of all to people like yourelf who have written in with your comments.
This has all helped us both through a very difficult time.
Thank you again
Grandad Kit
Posted by: anne | Monday, August 20, 2007
That made me cry.
I am so pleased that you both got to see and talk to "Tom."
I really hope things get better for you in the near future.
anne. x
Posted by: anne | Monday, August 20, 2007
HAVE JUST COME ALONG FOR A QUICK LOOK TO SEE HOW THINGS WENT AND NOT SO GOOD FROM THE SOUND OF IT.
CAN I JUST SAY THAT I THINK THE "PEER SUPPORT" YOU GAVE TO WE GRANDPARENTS LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND YOUR BLOG WAS INVALUABLE. WHEN I NEEDED, NOT A PERSON BUT JUST SOME DISTANT, FAR FLUNG, VOICE OF REASON WHO COULD EMPATHISE, OOPS, THERE YOU WERE!!
I AM SORRY THAT THINGS DID NOT GO WELL BUT TAKE PLEASURE FROM THE FACT THAT YOU MADE SOME OF US FEEL BETTER AT A TIME WHEN WE NEEDED TO AND YOU ARE RIGHT THAT, WHILST NOT PERFECT, WE CANNOT GO ON BEATING OUTSELVES UP ABOUT OUR "IMPERFECTIONS" AND MUST GO ON AND ENJOY LIFE, COME WHAT MAY.
TAKE CARE AND ENJOY LIFE WITH NANA ANN. HOW LUCKY ARE WE TO HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL PARTNERS WHO MAKE OUR LIVES SO SPECIAL. I SHALL MISS YOUR BLOG!!!
SUE
Grandad Kit replies:
Dear Sur
I'm not giving up the blog just yet! Besides, I've paid for a year in advance! And another thing, it may well be helpful both for me and for "Tom" for me to continue the blog, at least for the time being.
But your very, very kind comments are fantastic - just the sort of response that I dearly wanted to evoke when I started this thing (quite apart from helping to relieve my own feelings by expresing myself in the written word, the one thing I know I really am good at. And you are spot on about how lucky lots of us are with our life partners.
You kind words mean a lot to me. I'll continue with the blog for the prsent, but it will have to end soon. The I might publish it as a book still under "Grandad Kit" of course, to protect the innocent!
Kind regards and thanks again
Grandad Kit
Posted by: SUE | Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I HAVE THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU COME FROM THE NORTH EAST GRANDAD KIT BUT MY GOODNESS THAT REMARK ABOUT HAVING PAID FOR THE BLOG A YEAR IN ADVANCE WAS JUST THE SORT OF THING MY LOVELY YORKSHIRE HUSBAND WOULD HAVE SAID, ALTHOUGH I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT HE ALWAYS TELLS ME THAT HE'S NOT TIGHT, JUST CAREFUL.
I AM GLAD THAT YOU HAVEN'T MADE ANY HASTY DECISIONS ABOUT WHAT TO DO AND YOU KNOW I DON'T TALK ABOUT MY GRANDSON MUCH ANYMORE TO ANYONE ALTHOUGH I DO THINK ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY BUT I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THIS WHILST OUT WALKING THE DOGS THE OTHER DAY AND IN SOME WAYS THE SITUATION IS A BIT SIMILAR. MY DAUGHTER RANG AND ASKED TO MEET AFTER SOME CONSIDERABLE TIME AND AFTER SOME HEART SEARCHING I DID GO AND HAD QUITE AN UNCOMFORTABLE MEETING WITH HER AND WE BOTH AGREED TO SOME "ACTION PLANS" AND TO GET IN TOUCH AFTERWARDS. SADLY SHE THEN REFUSED TO ANSWER THE PHONE, EVEN GOING AS FAR AS TO TAPE A MESSAGE PARTICULARLY FOR ME WHICH LET ME KNOW IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT WE WOULD NOT BE MOVING FORWARD BUT WITH NO EXPLANATIONS.
ALL VERY HURTFUL BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR ANY OF US. KEEP SMILING AND I SHALL BE LOOKING OUT ON AMAZON AND IN TESCO (FOR MY SINS) FOR THE "GRANDAD KIT" BOOK, EPISODE ONE.
SUE
Grandad Kit writes
Dear Sue
Your emails really cheer me up! Although I'm an optimistic person, as you know. I do live in the North East, but I was brought up in Lancashire and I have Lancashire, Yorkshire and Irish blood in me - an interesting mixture.
The problem with our daughters (in our two cases) is that they say and do hurtful things, but we have to hold back and not retaliate. The reason for this is simple: if we did respond in kind, it would just be the "nuclear option" and any chance of reconciliation would be blown to smithereens. So we just have to hold back, hold on and hope that at some point in the future our offspring will not be so hurtful. We all feel like lashing out at times, but if we all lashed out all the time life would be impossible.
The other most difficult factor is to have our children uses access to our grandchildren as a weapon to "punish" us, as they see it. In my case I am convinced that this stems from my divroce (over 30 years ago now!) when I am sorry to say my then wife did use access to our children as a weapon to alleviate her negative feelings towards me. I tried very hard not to get dragged into "tug of love" situations, but I am sure it affected our children quite badly and it's not really surprising that my daughter is in a sense doing the same thing.
I do feel for my wife (Nana Ann) as we have no children and so she has to suffer along with me.
As for my book, as an author I know it will take at least 6-12 months to get it published, if indeed I can find a publisher!
All the best, and I tip my hat to your lovely Yorkshire husband - not mean, just careful. My grandad ws the same. When he died my Dad found lots of brand new shirts etc, still in their original wrappings. My Nana would buy him new stuff, but he would hide it away for a rainy day and carry on wearing his comfortable, hard-wearing old clothes.
Best wishes
Grandad Kit
Posted by: sue | Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Hello Grandad Kit,
Hah, I knew there was some Yorkshire in there somewhere.
Thank you for e-mail and I reckon it's "tit for tat" as we used to say at school. My e-mails have cheered you up but your blog cheers me up.
It is hard to "hold back" and not retaliate but I have tried really, really hard over the years not to do or say anything which I would regret, or be ashamed about or wish that I could change and I feel that I have, to the best of my ability done that and now my attitude is, "I think you had a good Mum, not perfect, but one who loved you unconditionally and who went without for you and actually, if you are not happy with that, then tough".
Sounds hard doesn't it!!!
I had to laugh when you described your grandad. My husband works for the local authority and whenever he is issued with new pieces of uniform he just keeps wearing the old ones and puts the new things in the garage, in their original boxes, wrappings etc.
I must also tell you that we had some friends round at the weekend for a barbecue and their son used to play with my grandson. Just on a whim I showed him the book that I am making for Matthew and he sat in our arbour, with the logs burning on the chiminea for ages and read it from front to back. It got the seal of approval and I reckon if I can keep a 12 year old amused for about an hour and a half then it must be ok so thank you for that. I would not have started it if I had not managed to stumble on your blog.
best wishes,
sue
Grandad Kit writes
Dear Sue
Glad to ahve ben of some help - at least my life has not been entirely in vain! Everyone has their own way to salvation, the thing is to stay positive and keep trying if at first you don't succeed.
And I've learnt a new word - chiminea. Sounds like soemthing from mary Poppins, Chimn Chimeny...
All the best
Grandad Kit
Posted by: sue | Friday, September 07, 2007
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